


this is breathing (and seeing it go)

by kxyokosxn (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Divorce, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:09:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24441127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kxyokosxn
Summary: "Hana didn't say anything about being unhappy."Osamu frowns, already knowing how this goes. Every single time, without fail, they ended up arguing about something or other and he always came home either too tired to talk about how it went or frustrated beyond belief.
Relationships: Misaki Hana/Terushima Yuuji, Miya Osamu/Terushima Yuuji
Kudos: 11





	this is breathing (and seeing it go)

"I don't fucking get it," Yuuji says, a little slurred.

Osamu only raises a dark eyebrow at him, looking very put out indeed as he sips at his gin and tonic with his usual expression, which he was certain would give nothing away. "Get what?"

Now, in normal circumstances, Osamu would never admit to being in friendly terms with this washed out soon to be divorcee unless held at gunpoint (and probably not even then). Still, Terushima Yuuji was unfortunately the only person in his records who could match his alcohol tolerance and therefore, the only person he could invite out to bars.

They've developed a certain camraderie after a few months of drinking together, though Osamu suspected that it was probably more because Yuuji needed someone to play therapist for a few hours. There was many a night in which a drunken Yuuji, laid out on the bar counter, would share all of his marital troubles to an apathetic Osamu - who, if he may add - did not ask.

Yuuji always explained it away by saying that Samu was the nicer twin, so it was easier to open up. Tsumu always threw a fit about it, which was to be expected. It was all because of him that they were introduced, after all.

"Hana didn't say anything about being unhappy."

Osamu frowns, already knowing how this goes. Every single time, without fail, they ended up arguing about something or other and he always came home either too tired to talk about how it went or frustrated beyond belief.

Thank God these meet ups didn't happen often; he's already on edge enough with his brother coming by so often these days on the excuse of bein' hungry when really it's because he wants to see Kita-san come by without actually asking him if he's comin' by. It's the kind of dumb thing Kita would probably be both disappointed and endeared by. Gross.

"Samu!" Yuuji whines when he doesn't offer a response. "Are you even listening?"

"Have you considered that perhaps your tendency to resort to calling her obscenities instead of her actual name isn't nearly as charming as you think?"

Yuuji's ensuing smirk is nasty. "Fuck you, prude. She likes it."

Osamu feels his throat seize. He blinks, forcing his voice to remain solid when he counters, "You're awfully confident."

"Oh, trust me," the lecherous grin he gives him is enough to elude how exactly how he found this particular piece of information and Osamu tries not to startle. "She definitely likes it."

"Well. In that context, maybe." Osamu's nose scrunches up in distaste as he takes another less controlled sip of his drink, because there was no way he was going to stay sober for this conversation. "I find it difficult to believe that she's fond of it in everyday life."

"She just fuckin' walked out on me."

"You'll get over it." He prays for patience from the gods; he's not particularly religious, but it's hard to spend a few hours alone with Yuuji and not go out lookin' for someone to blame. "I don't understand why you're so upset. Didn't ya say last month that you're mostly comin' to terms with the divorce?"

"Yeah."

Osamu hums. "There ya have it."

Their divorce actually came off as somewhat like a surprise despite that people may think of Yuuji. After all, they made it long enough to be acknowledged as capable parents to a boy who had his father's temperament and his mother's passion. Osamu doesn't know why he knows this, doesn't know why he even cares, but apparently Yuuji and Hana talked about it at length, though it did involve a lot of screaming, and came to the conclusion that they were arguing too much and compromising too little and rarely had anything good to say about one another despite being compatible in, ah, other aspects.

(Yuuji had even sighed wistfully and admitted that he would probably miss the sex the most. Osamu had called him a pig to hide just how flustered he got.)

Yuuji pouts. "It's different."

"How?"

Silence greets him, so he tries again, "How, Yuuji?"

"It's different when it's actually happenin', okay? You happy now, you shitty bastard?"

"Do you curse this much in front of your son?"

"Of course not. What kind of father d'you think I am? 'Sides, Hana told me to stop cursin' in front of the kid or she'd drop a cabinet on me so I decided it wasn't worth the effort."

"Ah."

"Fuck you lookin' at me like that for-"

Osamu shakes his head, a silent command for him to shut the fuck up as he raises the glass to his lips again, and after a satisfying sip, he sighs, "It doesn't change the fact that you can't do much now - too bad. You were good together."

"Yeah," Yuuji grunts. "We really were. Always wondered how I bagged someone so pretty and sweet."

Yuuji was always into the more spontaneous walks of life while Hana wanted everything neat and perfect, laid down plain and simple. Still, it was obvious that they adored each other. He's always been a reckless one, he said, until he found his solace in his wife and the son they got a year in the marriage.

"You still have yer son, y'know," Osamu says, swirling the remaining liquid in his glass as he eyes it critically, "You should, y'know. Talk to him. Communicate. I'm assumin' that's how parenting's supposed to be done."

"Full offense, but m'not takin' advice from a raging alcoholic."

"Funny what commitment does to you," Osamu says wickedly before he finishes off his drink with one gulp. He heaves a huge sigh before resting his head on his hand, eyes glazed over slightly. "Love really isn't enough sometimes."

"Your commitment issues is probably more to blame than your actual relationship."

"Says the one currently gettin' divorced."

"Touche, Samu." Yuuji leans forward, already swayin' a little, curious. "Is your girlfriend really that bad?"

He hums. "Quite the opposite. I think she's too good for me."

Yuuji snorts. " _Too_ good for you? You kidding? What even is too good for _you_? You're a catch!"

"Should I thank you for that?"

"Don't bother," Yuuji grins again, a flash of teeth, "if it's not that, then what's wrong?"

"Dunno. Love her a lot and everythin'. Even started thinkin' about marryin' her. Being around her as we are now is suffocating though."

"Sounds like somethin' you should take to her." Yuuji holds his cheek in his hand, eyes fluttering with every word. Ah, he's tipsy. He must be.

"I want to keep up the honeymoon phase." Osamu side eyes him. There's a nervous energy in the pit of his stomach, diggin' and diggin', though he's not sure what it's tryin' to find. "Unlike some people, I'm not actually lookin' to get a divorce soon."

"Fuck you."

"Ask Yui first."

"I hate you."

"Unlikely."

"I'm not kidding. I despise you."

"I don't think so."

Yuuji suddenly bursts into laughter. It's big and booming and warms Osamu in ways he didn't know he could be warmed. "'Samu, you're a little shit, you know that? You've got everyone fooled with your better twin act, but you're indisputably a piece of flaming shit."

"Thanks, I try."

"Now listen here, and listen well, 'cause I'm just the right amount of drunk to give you advice. Alright? Alright, good. You can't always not be practical, especially now that you're sharing your entire lives with each other."

"That's exactly what Yui is for. I drink and I get cold feet, is what I do."

"Are you doubting your relationship now of all times?" Yuuji smacks him on the shoulder. Osamu frowns, rubbing where he did. "Don't you dare steal my thunder. _I'm_ the one gettin' a divorce here."

"I'm not. I still love her."

"Then why are you so jumpy 'bout it? You proposing soon or somethin'?"

"Dunno yet." Osamu shrugs. "We've moved in together, so sure, that's the next step. Yui's askin' if I'd be fine with pets. I told her I couldn't yet. She's been real good about the whole thing though it must be a huge pain in the ass."

"Compromisin', huh?"

"I think so. I appreciate it. She's nice." Osamu's not lying. She is. She's accommodating and pretty and is probably too good for him, who doubts and drinks and dreams about a less than heterosexual future with Terushima Yuuji as its star actor. He shakes his head, smiling an unperceptible smile. Of course he'd remember that. "See? Look at me. I'm not even suited for _marriage_ _,_ Yuuji."

They don't speak after that, preferring to remain seated and lose themselves to their thoughts. Osamu ends up dropping Yuuji to the apartment he once shared with Hana and his son - it's empty tonight, but tomorrow he will be home, the one reminder Yuuji has left of the life he once had.

While he does that, Osamu will return to Yui - who is sweet and cute and everything a girl you marry should be. He will probably sleep with her and then cuddle after, strong arms and thin wrists. He will smell her perfume on her neck and will crave the smell of the bar, gin and smoke and pounding music - a few hours where Osamu is with Yuuji and he's the only one he's looking at.

That's more than enough for him. That's all he needs to go on.

**Author's Note:**

> shout at me on twt @ongriimiya !  
> title is from kc katalbas "time alive"


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